I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
