i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
