: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
