just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
