I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
