i jhust puked up my retainher.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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