It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
