I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
