she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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