omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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