I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
