Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i love accidental penises.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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