The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
