your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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