Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I want her autograph on my taint
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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