Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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