The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
