hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
