Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
