Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Randomize
