It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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