i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
