Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
