so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
