so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize