I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
