i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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