So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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