doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
