what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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