Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
