if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
