i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
