He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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