you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
