his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
