If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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