Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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