Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
