member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
