He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
