I think I am morally bankrupt
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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