i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
