so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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