so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
