my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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