did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
