I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
