great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
