Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
