Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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