if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
