Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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